“The Dead Beat” was a fine insight into an underappreciated art form. Drafting your own obituary, preferably along the lines Douglas Martin *74 follows, can provide useful guidance for heirs making your post-metabolic arrangements, can function as a convenient memoir for your descendants, and can prompt introspection as to what aspects of your life are noteworthy for information, amusement, cautionary, or aspirational value (if none come to mind, that may be a signal to amend your lifestyle).