Alumna’s advice: Marry a Princeton man!

Published Jan. 21, 2016

The University got national attention at the end of March — though not necessarily the kind it wanted. A letter by Susan Patton ’77 offering advice on marriage to Princeton’s female undergraduates set off a media frenzy with scores of articles, outraged tweets, and network TV coverage.

In a letter published by The Daily Princetonian March 29, Patton wrote: “Here’s what nobody is telling you: Find a husband on campus before you graduate. ... You will never again be surrounded by this concentration of men who are worthy of you.”

Nina Bahadur ’12, writing in The Huffington Post, said she was “dumbfounded” by the letter: “In what universe is the majority of a graduating college class ready to get married?” Others called the advice “elitist,” “retro,” and “cringe-worthy,” though some said they thought Patton had a point.

Despite the outpouring (which crashed the Prince website), Patton — the mother of two sons, a Princeton student and a recent graduate — has no regrets. “I was stunned by the reaction, but delighted that it has sparked a necessary dialogue,” she told PAW. “Young women are now talking about the components of a happy and fulfilled life other than career.”

Published in the April 24, 2013, Issue

1 Response

V. Lynn Hogben ’77

8 Years Ago

Meeting a partner at college

As a member of the same Princeton class as Susan Patton and having read her entire letter online (Campus Notebook, April 24), I want to make clear that her attitude is not representative of women who attended Princeton in the ’70s. We were born in the ’50s, but we were not living in the ’50s when we were at Princeton. College is an excellent place for both men and women to meet a person with whom they share interests and values and with whom they may want to share their life. College is therefore an excellent place for both men and women to meet a spouse, as well as a place to make other lifelong friendships. But the ideas that women can marry only men in the same class or an older class, or that hunting for a husband is the road to a good marriage, are nonsense.

Unlike Ms. Patton, I’m married to a fellow Princetonian, and we’re still happily together after more than 35 years. However, in the worldview expressed in her letter, we wouldn’t exist — we didn’t meet until my senior year, and he is younger and from a later class than me (’78).