In Response to: Hidden lives

Dick Limoges ’60 was by the luck of the draw my freshman-year roommate in Pyne Hall. Along with two others, we moved into Joline Hall our sophomore year. Twenty-two years later, we met for lunch at the Princeton Club of New York. Dick told me then that he was “out” and gay. I asked him, “When did you know it?” “Who knew?”   he exclaimed. “When were we ever taught about such an option!” Indeed.  

The article “Gay at Princeton” (cover story, April 3) reasserts this awareness, but it never asked what’s the advantage of being “out” and “gay.” The silence is still there, because we do not want our peaceful presumptions interrupted. It’s no longer a GLTB problem, but an embarrassment for those who believe there can be only one “norm” for nonverbal communication.

When Dick invited my wife and I to visit him and his partner at their vacation home on Fire Island on Labor Day weekend, we accepted. My wife was one of four women on the ferry to the island; I was one of the 200 or so men, most of whom had come to close up their places for the winter. I asked my wife, “Am I the ugliest guy on board, or what?” Handsome people gather in a beautiful place that reminded me of Carmel, Calif., an hour and a half east of New York City. Who knew?

Now you know. What else are we hiding? In silence.  

Robert Tellander ’60