I was heavily involved in the care of my parents and in-laws until they died. My approach to their care was far more interventionist and aggressive than most caregivers can stomach. However, I firmly believe that my parents and in-laws had more comfort and dignity in their declining years than they would have been had I taken the more "laissez-faire" approach that most recommend. I told my parents that it is not all about their rights, but the rights and feelings of the entire family. Elderly drivers can be more dangerous than drunk drivers. I just took my mother's keys and told her that it is wrong to endanger others. My father-in law was more rational. He voluntarily stopped driving and moved in with me when he almost died alone in his home due to a fall. I have been told by immigrants from non-Western cultures how shocked they are to find out that in America, we let our parents die alone and unattended!
In Response to: What I Learned: How To Help Your Aging Parents