The Whole Student: Stressed This Season? Try These Mental Health Tips for Tigers

On Princeton’s campus and beyond, ‘tis the season of returning home for holidays, traveling, parties, and marking the transition from one year to the next. So, ‘tis also the season for dealing with complicated family social dynamics, feeling economic and political stress, needing time and space to reflect before a new year or new semester bring what they will. Is your vibe, “OMG there’s so much to do,” “I am exhausted,” or “Lucky me, bring it on!”? Somewhere in between? Are you a student heading out on winter break or an alum who is temporarily re-feathering your empty nest? Either way, this is a good time to set some healthy, whole-student intentions for the next few weeks.

First, a few student-centric tips:

1.  Take the break as a break. Many readers are old enough to recall the days when winter break from Princeton was only a “break” (quotations heavy and painful), because exams were still hanging over our heads. But now, students going home are really done, done. I encourage you to take that status seriously and use the time away (if you are going home or somewhere different) to fully detach from academic stress. Focus on whatever is enjoyable, relaxing, nurturing, and fun for you, as much as possible.

2.   Engage IRL (In Real Life). It could be easy to spend the next few weeks down a lot of rabbit holes and scrolling through everybody else’s winter wonderlands. But however messy, unfiltered, and uncurated your vacation might be, you will emerge from it most refreshed and satisfied if you make the choice to actually be with whoever is with you, face to face.

3.  Share your world and be curious about others’. It’s true, everyone at home may be fascinated to hear about your encounters with the Princeton fox and the long line you fought to get your Dean’s Date crew neck. You should totally tell them. And you should tell someone you trust if you are struggling — the people who love you will want to know. Remember to ask people you haven’t seen for a while what’s been up with them. Your honesty will likely help you get help and make you feel more connected. Your questions will show someone you love that you care, and that even as your wardrobe is turning more orange-and-back by the day, you are still very much a part of the fabric of your OG family and community.

A few pro tips for older folks:

1.   Take the break as a break. Yup, you too. We all know that despite out-of-office messages, it can be difficult to truly disconnect from work projects and lingering, unanswered texts. But the more we draw those boundaries and be where our feet are (with family, friends, or in brief, chosen solitude), the fresher we’ll return to all the projects and messages when we are back in the saddle in the new year.

2.   Choose your battles. This may seem in conflict with tip No. 2 above, but I try to tell myself that at least some of the time when I am annoyed by my adult kids’ preference for screen time, I am NOT going to comment on it. I am going to breathe and overlook it. Sometimes, I am just going to empty the dishes from the sink to the dishwasher without saying a word. If I nag them a little less, they may actually choose my attention a little more.

3.   Let go of the Hallmark card in your mind. It is a parental job hazard to dream up idyllic holidays and vacations, only to see your reality get coffee spilled on it, catch Covid, or deal with a cancelled flight. You will do your whole family — and yourself — a huge favor if you release yourself from the fantasy and embrace whatever unscripted, unlovely chaos might occur. It’s OK, whatever it is. This is your holiday. Your year. Your people. It will not be perfect, but it can be enough if you let it. 

Happy Holidays and Happy New Year, Tigers.