When Bear Meets Beer: A Q&A With the Black Bear at Reunions

In the predawn hours on Wednesday, May 20, just a day before the start of Reunions, the University Department of Public Safety sent a TigerAlert notice to the Princeton community warning that a black bear had been reported on campus. The bear was seen in the vicinity of Cannon Green. 

“Black bears by nature tend to be wary of people,” the TigerAlert warned. But thanks to some dogged reporting and a little good luck, PAW senior writer Mark F. Bernstein ’83 caught up with Ursus Princetoniensis sitting by himself in the corner of an empty Reunions courtyard Thursday morning. Bernstein filed this report.

What brings you back to campus?

There are bear sightings on campus or in town every couple of years. Just a few of us live locally, but there are around 3,000 black bears in the state. Reunions is my favorite time to come back. Alumni Day tends to be harder because I’m still hibernating.

Shouldn’t you be at Brown instead?  

They’re the Brown Bears and I’m a black bear. Seriously, wow. Educate yourself.

Why Princeton, then?

Why not? I’m smarter than the average bear.

You plagiarized that from Yogi Bear.

Nope. I used AI. Actually, I read PAW’s March feature about the Princeton mascot. There were three very good-looking tigers on the cover, and I thought this seemed like a friendly place.

We’re glad you liked it.

Nice job tracking me down, too. There are occasionally rumors that I’m on campus, but few people manage to see me in the flesh. 

Sort of like Jeff Bezos ’86. Why did you go to Cannon Green rather than someplace that has food?

I’ve been on a special assignment to make sure that protesters don’t set up any encampments before Reunions.

But there aren’t any encampments on Cannon Green this year.

You’re welcome. 

Seriously, I expected you to be scrounging for food.

That’s what I was planning to do before some PSafe officer scared me off. Believe me, I know every open dumpster and trash can in the vicinity. Checking them out is my favorite thing to study. Since we’re at Princeton, you might call it my Ursa Major. 

It’s a pretty busy time to be roaming around campus. 

I’ll confess that I’m on a quest. Several years ago, John McPhee ’53 wrote an essay for the New Yorker about the black bears of Princeton. He said that we’re all around the area, but he has never managed to see one. I thought I would help him out.

Is he a fan of yours?

The whole faculty loves me, especially the famous ones. Paul Krugman has also written about the Princeton bear sightings.

So you’re hoping that McPhee will write you up in The New Yorker? 

Unfortunately, it looks like PAW will have to do. What about you? Are you familiar with McPhee’s books?

Bear-ly. C’mon, that was funny.

Funny as a tranquilizer dart.

What are some misconceptions people have about black bears?

The biggest one is that we’re vicious. I’d prefer it if people give me some space, but there hasn’t been a fatal bear attack in New Jersey since 2014.

Any others?

Did you read the rest of that TigerAlert? To scare a bear away, it said, “make loud noises by yelling, banging pots and pans or using an airhorn. Make yourself look as big as possible by waving your arms.” You know what that sounds like? The fifth reunion courtyard. And speaking for myself, it sounds awesome!

Good luck getting in. 

In that case, I might wander over to the 55th reunion tent instead. I read that the Class of ’71’s theme is “Sustaining the Wildlife.” They sound like my kind of people. I just need someone to get me a wristband, so I can drink.

Are you old enough?

Black bears can live to be 40 years old.

But you’re not an alum.

Yeah, like I’d be the first townie to crash Reunions.

And you like beer? 

Hey, does a bear — 

Please stop —

— in the woods? 

I wasn’t aware that bears liked beer.

What can I tell you? — I’m a brewin’! 

Interview conducted, condensed, and fabricated by Mark F. Bernstein ’83